The Pressure to Always be Okay

Somewhere along the way, struggling became a problem to fix — rather than just part of being human. Sadness became something to hide. Fear became something to push through. Grief became something to get over.

We live in a world that rewards resilience and optimism. "Stay positive," we're told. "Look on the bright side."

But sometimes, those words don’t feel encouraging.

They feel like a quiet way of saying: your pain makes me uncomfortable. Please set it aside.

We're often encouraged to focus on the positive — to write down three good things, to be grateful, to find silver linings. And while positivity has its place, it can also create a quiet pressure: Feel better. Feel happy. Enjoy. As if sadness, fear, or anger are mistakes to correct, rather than feelings to honour.

The pressure to be okay — to keep smiling, to keep going, to "think positive" — can be a heavy weight to carry. It teaches us to split off from ourselves. To silence the parts that hurt. To pretend we’re fine, even when something inside is aching for acknowledgment.

Real healing doesn’t come from denying how we feel. It comes from being allowed to feel it. To not be hurried or hushed. To have someone stay with us, exactly where we are — without asking us to be better, faster, happier.

You don't have to be okay all the time.

In therapy, there’s no demand to look on the bright side. There’s only the invitation to be real — even when that realness is heavy, sad, or full of contradictions.